Help! Help!! Fire! Pt2

I had a dream about a month ago, maybe longer. That seemed to be a sequel to a post I made maybe a year ago. Fire! The dream was my kiddos and I at a library. We were just reading books and enjoying ourselves. Everyone started leaving. I heard some say there was a fire so I scooped up my kids and went to the stairwell. We were halfway down when the smoke and heat started to be overwhelming. In that moment I looked out a window and realized that my kids and I had no way out. I woke up from that dream with a start. Heart racing, sweaty palms, and out of breath panic. In this dream, I was the adult. The one in charge who needed to protect my precious little people. I’m no longer the powerless child who was put in awful situations. I can keep myself and my kiddos safe. I have power over my actions now. This means walking away from shitty situations. Leaving when I sense danger. Listening to my gut. I sent “young pup” a note thanking him for his apology but said I had no interest in any type of friendship or relationship. He responded that if I changed my mind to contact him. Uh, no. Thanks though. 👎 I blocked him and then deleted my dating accounts. I don’t want to date. I have an emotionally draining job. I have two little people who need me. I need to be there for myself. I will hopefully be in grad school in less than a year from now. I have enough on my plate. In the 2+ months since I’ve attempted to rejoin the dating world I’ve found nothing close that would make me want to add to my plate. So for now I am done with dating. I’m not a dating girl anyway. I’m a relationship woman. I don’t like the heat so I’m getting out of the kitchen.

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