The one who stays…

I used to have a romantic fantasy about being “the one who got away”. I wanted the guy to be sorry he broke up with me or that he had done whatever to me. I wanted him to anguish over the pain he caused me or losing me. I wanted him to beg for me to want to be with him and fix or repair or rekindle what we once had.
That was my fairytale fantasy. It wasn’t just riding off into the sunset it involved pain and agony that needed to be worked through. It’s pretty twisted if you think about it. My fairytale didn’t just imagine someone loving me as I am and us working on our marriage/relationship. Definitely speaks to childhood and family of origin issues I have. After everything that I’ve been through in the past 2-3 years (and lots of therapy!) my view has changed. A lot.

Now my fairytale is a loving, respectful man who wants me to know how much he cares. He’ll know that relationships especially with young kids are hard demanding work but completely worth it. He won’t throw in the towel when things get hard or worse check out but stay in the relationship. He’ll embrace the mundane moments like I do. He’ll cherish the good moments and search for joy in those moments of struggle.

My fairytale guy doesn’t need to be incredibly hot or rich. He needs to be genuine, sincere, and passionate. The sexiest quality in my opinion is loyalty. As Beyoncé says “Her heaven will be a love without betrayal”. That is my fairytale.  


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