The more I think about the downfall of my marriage and every relationship I’ve been in I think about how I’m a really strong woman. I’ve always had to be strong or felt like I had to be. It’s hard for me to be vulnerable. Then I think about every guy I’ve dated had not been as strong as me. Most of them in some level were probably intimidated or turned off by my strength.
Its like boys have heard the fairy tales we tell girls and take them to heart as well. Be the hero. The big man who saves/rescues the little woman from certain disaster or loneliness or her stepmother. Then he will be awarded her undying love and gratitude. He gets to be superman. However because of the dasterdly feminism woman don’t want to be rescued anymore then the guys are lost.
Back to me. I am financially, intellectually, spiritually, and so many other ways strong. I don’t rely on people as much as I should but I think it bothers guys I’m so strong which bothers me. I don’t want a guy to rescue me. I want a guy to connect with and be my home and safe place and partner in crime and to not give up. The scariest thing about dating again is getting serious again and have him wuss out and not work on and fight for our marriage. I don’t want to waste another 8+ years with someone. Clearly I need to find a guy who can match me in strength as well as other areas. I just wish there were more strong guys out there.