Nearly 17 weeks ago when I ended marriage. I knew something in me had changed. When I told Mr Lemon our marriage was officially over, I felt something in me snap but in a good manner. The only way to explain is that my soul was like a glow stick. Ending my marriage helped my soul shine again.
Since then, I’ve been on this crazy spiritual path. Over and over the idea of goddesses and female spirituality has come to me in so many ways. Through friends and family. Through music. Through nature and TV shows. In trying to heal my mind, body, and spirit, I have become connected with so many new healthy people and healing all the parts of me I didn’t even know needed healing. Even in praying to my angels/spirit guides, I had that emotional meltdown last week. But friends that is exactly what I needed. I needed to break down so I could start my life over and heal from all my wounds. Will I ever be perfectly healed and evolved? Probably not. But as a goddess warrior, I will focus on my divine spirituality so that I can be the best person, woman, mom, friend, daughter, sister, lover that I can be.
Throughtout my entire life there has been an unconscious message of being a martyr to be a good person. So many people especially my parents and older brother constantly suffocated my inner fierce goddess. I started to shove her down, ignore her, but that day that I ended my marriage she came back with a vengeance. As I’m writing this I’m crying year of sadness and joy. Sadness that I treated myself with such disdain but joy that I get to be my fierce self and love that part of me and all the parts of me to be uncovered.
In a book I’m reading called “Warrior Goddess Training” (I told you it was everywhere) the author talks about feminine power and how society misinterprets it. Paraphrasing it says that feminine power does not compete with or take away from masculine power. Rather true feminine essence can be a great asset to and empower masculine essence. This is something I’ve also struggled with. Being a feminist I’ve been called a ball buster. But this path reconciles these two ideas instead of putting them at odds. My soul feels so much ease and so much lighter being on this path.
Once I was on this new path, I prayed for happy and healthy love. It seems like that my life is now overflowing with happiness and healthy relationships and overall goodness.